You Are [Not] The Father! | Sage

 


Robin was a free, unkempt spirit. While some fae were able to control their impulses better than others, Robin welcomed the wind as it'd gently whisk him from town to town—place to place. He didn't have some sort of itinerary or bucket list, mostly just bar hopping and following the first thing that caught his eye. But this time, it seemed like he got into something more... problematic than usual. Well, one man's 'problematic' was just 'exciting' to Robin, but it was a sort of excitement that he wasn't sure how to react to.

So there he was, in a tavern, looking for something to do. The place reeked of alcohol, but the blonde pixie really had no interest in that. What he saw were fat, worn wallets bulging out of pockets, cheap tavern chandeliers begging to be swung on like some sort of swing, mugs so obscenely large and overflowing that it'd serve great as a jacuzzi if he shrunk into his pixie form! The thought of all this fun was tantalizing, but all of it shied in the shadow of a more curious find amongst the crowd—a small vial full of cerulean liquid, about the size of a fist. It was such a bright and odd color that Robin's simple eyes couldn't ignore them.

Well, that was that, wasn't it? In one moment, the balding-burly man who placed it close to his mug sat there with an empty seat next to him, his cheeks pink and eyes ogling the busty waitress at the tavern's front, and in the next moment,  Robin was seated next to him, leaned over the table with stars in his eyes.

The "conversation" after that was pretty simple. Robin introduced himself but didn't allow the man the chance to do the same, not that he looked like he wanted to. Now that all boundaries were gone, the blonde didn't hesitate to take a swig of the strange juice. You know, as one does. And, well...


"...and now I'm here!"

It was late afternoon in Mackemm Village, a village always covered in a blanket of snow and wood chippings. There in the middle of a little empty side road stood Robin, twiddling his fingers across from a dark-haired peddler's potion stand. There was nothing unusual about it—his wild, unruly blonde hair was as untamed as ever. His forest green eyes continued to shine deeply like Hoptus itself. The grin he had on his face still stretched from ear to ear, and shone so brightly it looked like the sun. But, this time... he had a noticeable bulge between his legs, protruding out from his thin cotton pants, and an even bigger bulge bugging out from his belly.

Although he didn't appear overtly troubled by his circumstances, Robin was beginning to sweat bullets. He wasn't entirely sure what was happening to his body or why, but some sad larks took pity on him and directed him to this... kid? Well, that's how he looked, anyway.

"And y'know, honestly? Diiiidn't hate the flavor so I kinda—like—drank it all, so I'unno if that has somethin' to do with it, sooo..." Robin twiddled his fingers again impatiently, though his grin remained the same, "...I just, uhm... what is this? I'm no scientist but like... totally didn't have this gut this morning, haha..."

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WC: 556 | Total WC: 556 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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"Spank... bank?" Robin tilted his head, unsure of what the boy meant by it but was smiling all the same. He then went on to dismiss Robin's gut predicament altogether, even though that's why the blonde was here. There was a tiny pause between Robin's curious echo and obedient nod as if trying to process everything the boy was trying to say. "Mm! 'Kay!"

Almost as quickly as he replied did the fae shrink down into his pixie form in a flashy poof of green glitter, zig-zagging down the winter-kissed roads with clear anticipation. The further he flew, the more he looked like a little ball of emerald light.


Despite his initial confusion, Robin was able to locate the alleged "spank bank" in town through the flashy glowing pair of legs outside of a tavern-like building. When he went inside, it wasn't like any place he had ever been to before! Lots of Anthros girls dancing around poles that stretched up to the ceiling, surrounded by anthros men who sat down around the stages and flicked vigs at them every now and then. Some wove around the pole gracefully, captivating you with their seductive and elegant movements. Some of them seemed to gyrate and wiggle their bodies in a way you just couldn't ignore. All of them, however, were gorgeous!

The place was dark but full of colorful, ambient light and traditional music. It smelled of cheap perfume, alcohol, and musky men. Poofing back into his larger form, Robin took notice of the groups of people making out in the dark corners of the venue, some eventually leading the other into rooms closed off by a thick veil of beads. Honestly, Robin wasn't one-hundred percent sure what this place was, but he only knew one way to get rid of his ailment! This would be a piece of cake!

...Or so he hoped! As it turns out, a lot of the girls were put off by a pretty blonde with a potbelly but an overall fit physique. If anything, they'd rather spend their energy on a fat bastard than a man who seemed to have... all sorts of things going on with his body. Robin didn't really get it or even registered that he was being rejected for that reason, but he didn't push it. Instead, after multiple failed attempts with the Neko girls and more mature Inu women, he comfortably settled with the next best thing.

Robin took another seat next to a rather beefy Inu man who was clearly engrossed with watching the stripper work her stuff on the pole in front of them, but Robin didn't seem nearly as occupied with the stripper anymore. Instead, he was shamelessly appraising the man next to him. After a brief once-over, he didn't hesitate to give his bum a light squeeze.

"Heeeh... you got some real cheeks on you, man!" Robin chimed with his usual sunshine smile, impressed, "Anyway, I'm Robin! Wanna have sex?"

"...?!"


"...and that's how I got this black eye! I know you'd be really curious about it, so there you go! I mean—yeah, I'm still, like, super stiff but...!" Robin paused again, trying to convince the dark-haired boy that it wasn't all for nothing, but falling short. Instead, he just shamelessly changed topics. "—Anyway, I think my stomach just got bigger. Do you think so? I think so! You think so too, right?"

If the potion peddler had considered himself rid of this blonde nuisance, he was mighty mistaken. It seemed as if Robin had no intention of leaving this matter unsettled.

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WC: 603 | Total WC: 1621 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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Robin wasn't sure what sort of answer he wanted to hear, but judging by the wide-eyed look of surprise on his face, he wasn't expecting that. There was a short pause after the peddler's words, Robin just staring blankly at him like a dog staring at a human speaking gibberish. But then, it hit him. His eyes sparkled and his face lit up, his cheeks a rosy red from both the chilly winter breeze and the excitement.

"I-I'm pregnant?! Forreal?! Ahahaha! Wow! I'm pregnant!" Robin gasped audibly, going between rubbing his belly like he had just eaten a stuffing meal and patting it gently as if it were fragile. But between all the laughter and grinning, his demeanor suddenly took a grim twist.

Abruptly, there was silence. The grin froze and then switched to a look of despair and confusion. His hands trembled and his eyes watered so much that it looked like he might've started to cry right then and there. It was like a storm cloud had suddenly found its place right above him.

"I'm... pregnant. W-Wow..." Robin fumbled over his words and began to panic, "I-I'm not ready to be a parent! H-How am I gonna take care of it?! I can't take people's wallets while nursing a child! Do-Does this mean I have to get a job?! How do I know what daycares are okay?! I don't have tits so I can't give it milk! WHAT KIND OF PARENT CAN'T GIVE THEIR KIDS MILK?!" Robin felt so distressed by the new circumstances that he couldn't hold himself up anymore, slowly crumbling to his knees. There were tears in his eyes at this point, mumbling away about the newfound chaos.

While the blonde Gaiyan was busy having his meltdown, it seemed his bitter Eldritch counterpart was busy packing up shop. This didn't go unnoticed, however. Eventually, Robin stopped rambling to himself and perked up from the ground, grabbing the peddler by both of his shoulders and shaking him frantically.

"You're leaving?! You can't leave! What about me?! I might go into labor any second now! Take me to a hospital—oh, oh, oh! I totally just felt it kick! Pleeeheheaaaase!" Robin clenched his stomach theatrically, completely convinced that the muffins he ate earlier were, in fact, his unborn child's kick.

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WC: 382 | Total WC: 2,358 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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Even though Robin was distressed, the Witch peddler wouldn't give him the time of day. He finished packing up and ended their conversation with a quick and curt farewell, even though Robin tried to refute his points. The Witch left Robin alone in the snow, pregnant and ready to burst any second! The blonde stood there, his eyes welled up with tears and snot tickling the top of his upper lip. While this whole pregnancy thing had him at a loss, it wasn't good for him or the baby to be outside during a blizzard. He was dressed rather lightly considering he didn't seem to mind chillier weather, but even he had brains big enough to know that blizzards were on a different level.

"Eh?! I mean..." the fair-haired Fae scrunched his face up and nodded sadly, "Bye-bye..."

Robin let him leave after that, though not because he didn't want to stop him right then and there. He was still so taken aback by this new addition to the Silverpine family that he was too weak in the knees to do anything about the little Witch boy leaving. Even after he left, Robin continued to stand there, sobbing, petrified.


Eventually, Robin was able to wobble his way over to an inn—the only one in town that he knew of. Though, when he walked in, it seemed a bit more lively than usual. Maybe everyone got the message that there was a blizzard rolling in, visitor and local alike, and wasted no time in finding a place to hole up in for the night.

Robin fluttered over to the heavy wooden doors without his usual peppiness, poofing back into his larger figure once it was time to go inside. But before he did, he had to check how much he had left for the day. Pickpocketing got him far, but it wasn't always enough. Sometimes, he'd have to just sneak into a room and sleep with strangers—they seemed more spooked by it than him, though. Sometimes they'd scream and swat at him in the morning! Weirdos.

He pulled out the thick wallet from the Inu man from the tavern, looking at it front and back with interest. Not only did he take his egg juice-potion-thingy, but he took his wallet too. Robin pretty much mugged the guy of everything but his clothes, really, but he didn't see it that way. When he opened it up, the first thing he saw was what looked to be an older Inu man, old enough to be someone's father, and the guy he robbed silly, except as a child—

Fwip!

Robin immediately snapped the wallet shut when his emerald eyes glanced over the photo, his face beginning to sweat bullets as he was reminded of his troubling pregnancy. His face became beet red as he crouched to the ground, holding his face in his hands.

"I'm not readyyyy! Bro! What would you do?! Waaah...!" Robin began to cry theatrically again as he wept for his big brother, who he had, yet again, parted ways with in pursuit of his own impulsive ventures. Those two were either joined at the hip or off doing God knows what for however long, but they always managed to circle back to each other. Why were they separated during one of those blips of adventure?! Why now?!

So, just outside of the only inn in town was a blonde Gaiyan, crouched in the snow, rocking back and forth as he wept nonsense under his breath. In his hysterics, he thoughtlessly took the photo from the wallet and crumpled it up in his own tight grip as he vented about his life!

"Ah...! No, no, no...!" Robin sniffled and suddenly shook his head with a determined look on his face, "Stress isn't good for the baby. Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... hooo..."

...

...

...

"IT'S NOT WOOOORKING! Waaaah!"

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WC: 652 | Total WC: 3,262 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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It was getting colder by the minute as Robin's wailing dragged on, catching the eye of some locals as they passed by. Fortunately, his cries didn't last long enough to wait for the blizzard to come around and eventually made his way into the inn.

Though his eyes were a little puffy and the snot damping his lips was unappealing, the blonde was at least confident that he had enough vigs to afford a room. He wasn't a complete scumbag, after all. He'd pay if he had the money to! Yet, even then, he was denied a room. Although his demeanor and indiscreet wailing outside the inn was plenty of reason to reject the young Gaiyan, according to the innkeeper, he was a minute too late to snatch the key to the last available room. Most people would've been devastated by this information considering there was a blizzard brewing outside, but Robin only nodded with a weak but understanding smile and wobbled out of the inn.

Well, what can you do? There was no way he was gonna stick out the winter storm, so he'd resort to what he's always done. Without missing a beat, the moment Robin stepped outside into the incoming blizzard, he poofed into his fairy form and fluttered up to his room of choice. One room had an Avian woman clad in leather and metal garments, probably mercenary judging by her sheathed shortsword and the way she began counting her vigs on the little candlelit table. She didn't look very nice, so Robin went to the next. Another housed a couple of humans, one man and one woman, both young and looked like a couple. Judging by the glint in their eyes, they kinda looked like they wanted to eat each other alive... whether that was a good or bad thing, Robin didn't know and just wasn't really up to finding out.

The process repeated for a little bit until Robin took notice of a familiar face in one room. The oversized hat, the dark and sharp bangs, the short stature and pale skin—that was the Eldritch from earlier! Upon this revelation, Robin simply couldn't contain his excitement and didn't hesitate to reject his impulse and nosedive right at his window!

Thump!

"So you didn't leave town?! I was really worried!" Robin sprawled out against the window like a bug on a windshield, the bulge on his belly pressed against the glass and his high-pitched voice like something out of a comedy skit. "Heeeey! HEEEY! Remember me?! It's your friend, from earlier! It's me, Robin!! Hellloooo? HELLOOOOO?"

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WC: 431 | Total WC: 4,022 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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The day was coming to an end, and even as the blizzard drew near and the sun hid away behind the overcast of clouds, it seemed as if this fair-haired Fae had no intention of piping down or shutting up as the witch had hoped for. Instead, he remained sprawled against the window with his face pushed into the glass, making an ugly face as his nose and mouth smooshed against the surface.

"It's really cold out here, you know!!" Robin explained with a pout on his smooshed face, clawing against the window at the sight of the crackling fire inside, but the Witch didn't give him the time of day. Even so, he'd try again.

"I'm dyinnnng! Ugggggh!! Please, please, please, please, pleaaaase?"

And again...

"I'm pregnant, y'know?! Everyone knows that pregnant ladies need to be taken care of!! Look! See? See?! Look how big my belly is!"

And again...

"I'm gonna grab my big brother and come beat you up if you don't let me in, buster! And y'know what?! You. Can't. Hit. Me. Back! Because I'm a pregnant maiden! Do you know who I am?!"

And again...

"I'm sorry... *sniffle*... I didn't really mean that... also, your hair looks funny... *sniffle*... I'm cold and tired and hungry and... sorry... *sniffle*"

And again, until...

"LET ME IN! LET ME IN! LET ME IN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"

Pop! The window opened and with an almost concerning lack of hesitation or concern, all of the tears on his face and distress in his eyes just vanished. Instead, a look of interest and mild curiosity replaced his expression as fluttered inside, poofing back into his human-sized form as he thoughtlessly stepped inside.

"—Oh, wow! This place is kind of eh compared to the other inns I've stayed at! You must be pretty poor, huh? Hehe!"

That was all Robin had to say after all of his wailings and screaming. It sounded like a piglet on helium had just witnessed a murder, but no one could ever guess it was him after seeing him smiling like that. He meant nothing by it, looking back at his Eldritch company with an innocent, sincere look in his emerald eyes. It appeared as if the rudeness of his comment completely slipped by him, in fact, he didn't even have anything to say about the witch's quip either.

Robin decided to make himself at home pretty quickly after that, strolling around the room, and after finding nothing of interest, theatrically letting himself fall onto the bed. He was quiet for only a moment, perking up and staring at the witch with wide eyes and a hand on his belly.

"You're super skinny, did'ya know that?" Robin tilted his head as he continued to notice his company's features, "You kinda look like a girl. Like a... weird, scary girl. Hm!"

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Despite Sage's quips, Robin didn't really give him much of a reaction. He continued to stare at the witch with this blank, empty-headed gaze until he decided that the topic was no longer of any interest to him and smiled kindly.

"Eh? What are those called again? Intrusive thoughts? You're really weird, you know that? Haha!" Robin brushed him off, nodding and smiling to himself over his friend's curious questions without considering whether he really meant it or not.

The hearth cackled with its warm, orange glow as the fire hissed and spat at the two young men sharing the inn room together. Having successfully evaded the winter storm brewing outside, Robin finally felt like he could relax after a long and fun day. He leaned up from the mattress and began to peel his black shirt off of his body and kick his pants off, leaving only a pair of grey boxer briefs hugging his hips, throwing his garments onto the floor without any care or concern for tidiness. Fae like him often had special garments designed specifically for the types of people who often changed their shape or figure, but his vagabond "go where the wind takes me" lifestyle often meant that he couldn't carry a lot of stuff with him, so he often settled for just one set of clothing. He crashed back down onto the mattress and curled himself around the bedsheets.

"Ooo! These are pretty soft, hehe! Soft, soft, soft..." Robin mumbled to himself with a warm look on his sunshine-filled face. Feeling his bare, dry skin against the softness of the mattress and bedsheets made his cheeks turn pink, letting every inch of his body enjoy the bed he hadn't paid for. This went on for another minute before he realized that he had a roommate. Absent-minded, he perked up and poked his now-bedhead up from under the blanket and stared rather innocently at the dark-haired man.

He ended up staring for a little longer than necessary before it was clear that he was actually in deep thought. He hummed to himself, shuffled around a bit, and then some before finally coming to a conclusion and scooting over just a little. He then proceeded to pat the spot next to him, looking at Sage with stars in his eyes.

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WC: 385 | Total WC: 5,766 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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It seemed like Sage was the only one of them that was going to be miserable all night, because as soon as the disgruntled witch plummeted onto the bed, Robin was out like a light. He stretched and mumbled something like 'good night' and was knocked out, just like that!

Maybe his ability to fall asleep so quickly and soundly could be remarkable to others, but Robin didn't see it that way. When he slept like this, he felt like a kid tuckered out after a long day of climbing trees, jumping rope, and playing in rocky streams. Sure, maybe stealing wallets, stuffing his face like a pig, and playing pranks all day wasn't as innocent as something like playing in a creak, but he felt exhausted all the same. Not only that, but he met an albeit weird but fun Eldritch boy today and was pregnant, too! Today was a good day, and he slept like it...

...

...

Or, well, maybe it really wasn't that deep or sentimental and the blonde Gaiyan really just had an uncanny ability to fall asleep at a moment's notice. Who knew?

[The Next Morning]

The blizzard had come and gone, leaving a thick blanket of snow over Mackemm village and painting the wintery town white once again. It was quite the gorgeous sight—a kind that could be best enjoyed at a time like now when the village was quiet as dawn sent birds' to tweet and coo morning's tidings. The day had already started, but only a small number of people seemed to be out and about already, work keeping them from sleeping in on a cozy winter storm morning.

Unfortunately, one of those people was Robin.

No, he was not a morning person. In fact, his sleep schedule was so erratic and spontaneous sometimes that it was anyone's guess whether or not he'd join the land of the living at the buttcrack of dawn or deep into the afternoon. No, it wasn't because he was restless. Up until thirty minutes ago, the blonde Gaiyan was enjoying his slumber, all snuggled up next to the young man he met just yesterday. No, he wasn't alright.... he was on the brink of having a meltdown.

"HEEEY!! Get up! UP! HEEEY, c'moOOOnnn!!" Robin shrieked, leaning over Sage's side of the bed and shaking his shoulder frantically. There was snot peeking out from his nose and tears running down his face. He was caked in sweat and his long, blonde hair tied into a ponytail had become undone in all of his panicked antics. He looked like he was about to puke, shit, and implode all at once. "I don't know what's happening to meeee!! I FEEL SO WEIRD AND IDONTKNOWWHATTODOABOUTITHELPMEEEE!"

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WC: 456 | Total WC: 6,795 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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The lack of urgency in Sage's words seemed to only exacerbate the panic in Robin, leaving his face glowing red as the pains passed through his abdomen and frustration muddled his mind. The witch's undisturbed replies were instantly matched with the blonde Gaiyan's immediate reactions.

"IT'S ROBIN! R-O-B-I-N! ROBIN!!" Robin sniffled as he sobbed his name, one hand hugging his bloated belly tight and the other still clenched onto his friend. "And I did try going to the bathroom, you know?! I sat on the toilet for like—twenty minutes! But it just kept on feeling like a bigger and bigger dump... like I couldn't really push all of it out yet... and then it started to hurt! Like, really frickin' bad! Like, way worse than that time I ate rotten twighorn eggs and got food poisoning—and no, they don't taste like caramel candies if you let them sit in the sun for eight days! They tasted like crap!"

Robin's rambling went on for a while after that, speaking so fast that his thoughts and words began to slur together. By the end of his pleas, he was crouched by the bedside, eyes pink and swollen from the crying and his body trembling. For a moment, he did look a bit pitiful—like a Golden Retriever puppy with a limping leg, whimpering to anyone who would listen. But then he opened his mouth again.

"I'M GOING INTO LABOR, YOU KNOW?! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING A PREGNANT MAIDEN LIKE ME IN A TIME LIKE THIS!!" Robin mustered up the strength to reprimand his roommate, grassy eyes still wet with the tears. He went to bed in nothing but his boxer briefs and seemed decent enough to at least put his shirt back on when he woke up. But now that he determined that their baby was coming hot and fast, here and now, the little voice in his head that told him to don his garments had been hushed to silence. Squashed, really.

With haste, Robin wobbled to his feet and peeled his boxer briefs off, and sat next to Sage on the bed after flinging it to the side. Honestly, even though he was sure that it was the baby that was making him feel like this, he's had out-of-this-world shits before. So, he wasn't one-hundred percent certain that maybe he wasn't going to do a fat one here on the bed... but there was no time for that!

"I give up... *sniffle*... it hurts so bad... I just want it to be over it!" Robin winced with an ugly, helpless look on his face. Every time he clenched any sort of muscle in his body, he could feel the egg creep closer to its exit! What a horrible feeling...

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WC: 458 | Total WC: 7,604 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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Amidst all of the puppish fae's whining, the witch's vehement disgust transformed into something... else. The witch boy wasn't at all agreeable to helping Robin during these hard and trying times, but now he encouraged him—egging him on, if you will. 'I want to see it', he said, like if Robin tried and failed at pushing this egg out now, he'd be disappointing him or something! If he was being honest, it didn't really feel like this witch was actually supporting him right now. But none of it mattered because the pressure was building up so much against his bum that he couldn't spare a single thought on anything other than this egg! It felt like his ass would tear apart if he did any more of this useless thinking crap!

"OKAY! OKAY! I'M TRYINNNG! Hnnhah... mmngh!!" Robin thrashed around the bed, his long blonde lashes moist with the tears prickling at his eyes. It wasn't anything more than his usual whining when it suddenly hit him.

"Ack!"

The pressure he had been so distressed by finally reached a climax in his bum, and all hell broke loose. His eyes shot open before wincing closed at the terrible pain and discomfort, instantly grabbing a pillow and holding so tightly against his wet face, it sounded like he was trying to suffocate himself.

"It's COMIIIIIING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"


...

...

...

Well, where to begin?

A lot happened over the last thirty minutes. Robin had made some faces he hadn't thought he was capable of making, and all of them were a sobbing, screaming mess. The pillow had the wet spots of tear-filled eyes and a snotty nose imprinted into it, as well as deep dents from his biting. At one point, the blonde fae had even reached for the witch's hand to squeeze during all of this. This weird feeling in his butt was unmistakenly, irrevocably, unflinchingly, irrefutably the worst feeling he had ever had. But after all of that, the end result was...

"I...I did it... ha... hahahaha...." Robin laughed flatly as he laid there across the bed, broken and beat. Instead of the sunny disposition he usually (and relentlessly) let off, what lie upon that bed was not the man he was before, but instead a pale, colorless flesh suit with all the life and umph! taken out of his soul. Snot running down his nose, tears pitifully rolling down his cheeks, it looked as if his soul were quite literally exiting through his mouth.

Robin trembled weakly as he shuffled to the bedside, trying to stand up. But his efforts were in vain.

"I just... lemme just... lemme just take a minute and..."

Thud! The Gaiyan almost comically collapsed to the floor, butt up and head down as his soul crept out of his body. His only legacy? A shiny, unremarkable egg plopped right in the center of the bed. It was about the size of a football, and kind of glittery despite its normal eggshell white color.

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WC: 502 | Total WC: 8,689 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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"Maybe it needs to be encouraged, like that one picture book..." Robin chimed in, standing right beside Sage, staring at the egg as if he wasn't dead on the floor just a minute ago. It seemed as if his sunny and effervescent spirit had returned to him once he realized he had finally laid this egg, his eyes sparkling with potent interest. "Hehe! It's pretty big, huh? Can you believe that something this big came outta me? Haha!"

For a while, Robin just quietly rambled on about this fantastic feat as if he were trying to not wake a baby, even as the egg would just lay there, still and unperturbed. For at least a minute, the room was silent of everything but the blonde fae's voice, before he finally started blabbering about the baby again.

"Oh, yeah! That's right!" Robin perked up, tapping his fist into his palm as if a light bulb flashed above his head, "We didn't even get the chance to talk about baby names! Wow, haha! I mean, how cool is that? I've always wanted to name an egg! So what should it be? Bartholomew? Lavender? Dandelion?—You know, my parents said that they were gonna name me Dandelion at first, but then they had change of heart. Oh, and should they have my last name, or yours? Oh, and what even is your name? Hm?"

Robin b0mbarded his friend with questions, all with this brilliant joy in his eyes. He really was like a dog, in many aspects. Not only did he just disregard Sage's crass comments from earlier, but he never seemed to really doubt his character. In fact, he had complete trust in him. Yes, complete faith in this man whom he had a baby with, whose name he didn't even know.

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WC: 299 | Total WC: 9,468 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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"What are you talking about?! I didn't get pregnant all by myself, you know! I drank your baby juice!" Robin scrunched his brows together, puzzled as he thoughtlessly grabbed Sage by his wrist and kept him from leaving. He had a mild look of disappointment on his face, but he wasn't ready to relent and let this guy free just yet. After all, single parenthood sounded pretty scary. "So, what's your name? You owe me at least that much, y'know! After gettin' me pregnant and all!"

If this witch had walked out on him now, Robin really had no idea what he'd do. Reason told him to go back home and raise the child there, but he left home in order to satiate his taste of adventure. Going back and living a stuffy life as a stay-at-home-mother already felt suffocating. The second option was to let his baby travel with him, but if that was the case, he'd want the father around too! The more he thought about it, the more eager the look in his eyes became.

"Here, I'll let you name him Jr.!" Robin smiled brightly as if offering something Sage couldn't overlook, "And you're gonna have to help me out since my nips are gonna be chafed and all after feeding'im!"

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Robin's face scrunched up tightly in a moment of doubt and hesitation as Sage broke it down for him, deep and dark against burning a hole into his soul. Honestly, he found it a bit difficult to look him in the eye as he spelled it out so plainly for Robin, but still, the blonde refused to give in. Instead, his face went pink and his grip tightened.

"It's NOT empty! I should know 'cause I'm the one who gave birth to it! Mother's intuition!" Robin puffed out his chest, as if psyching himself up, "And sure, maybe we're both men and we didn't have sex, but that baby's yours and you're the one who gave it to me!! If anything, it's a miracle! IT'S A MIRACLE BABY AND YOU'RE THE DADDY!"

At this point, it was clear that Robin wouldn't give up on either that egg or letting Sage leave this room. He would stand there, bickering with the witch boy and trying to convince him of his new fatherhood status.

Suddenly, his expression softened into something of bewilderment, and then embarrassment as his lips quivered into a frown, lips tinted a rosy pink, and a newfound determination glinted in his glossy eyes.

"I-I-If you—uhm—if y-you... like..." Robin paused and went quiet for a moment before summoning the courage to blurt out what he was really trying to say, "IF HAVING SEX IS WHAT WILL MAKE YOU COMMIT TO OUR BABY, THEN... SO BE IT!"

In Robin's poor, rotted brain, what Sage was suggesting were merely the conditions of committing to fatherhood. Honestly, Robin had never really considered sleeping with an Eldritch before—let alone a witch. In the numbered hours he had known the witch, who remained nameless to him, he had never even thought of him in the light. Sure, he had been curious about a number of races a number of times when it came to sex and stuff... like that, but most of his promiscuous ventures had been with other Gaiyans and the stray Anthros here and there.

But he wasn't so disgusted by the idea that he'd reject it completely. Try everything once, right? Including sex with witchmen. Callum probably said that. Probably.

At the same time, Robin was fidgeting in place as he kept looking at Sage and then at the wall or his feet. Clearly, he was a bit anxious about the whole thing, but his face still scrunched up bravely.

"It's just uhm... should I...? Or... y'know... like... should yooou.... like... uhm..." Robin fidgeted again before looking side to side, as if making sure no one would hear, and then leaned in, "I've never actually done it with... you know! So, are you the buyer or the seller? The batter or the pitcher?? I usually end up doing it so I never really considered what I'd have to do on the receiving end of things, but my Mom always told me to put myself in other people's shoes so maybe like this is a good time to——"

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WC: 505 | Total WC: 10,692 | WC Needed: ??? @Sage ""  —
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